


Shackle

by Indis



Category: Harlots (TV)
Genre: 18th Century, Female Friendship, Gen, Imagined Backstory, Past Relationship(s), Period-Typical Racism, Prostitution, Referenced/Implied Child Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:03:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16122932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indis/pseuds/Indis
Summary: Post Season 2.Harriet and Nell decide what to do about a ring.





	Shackle

Harriet still kept her wedding ring on her finger. It was not a conscious action. She hadn’t even realised it was still there until Nell pointed it out one day.

Harriet brought her hand to her face, studying the simple gold band. Memories of her wedding day came back: the small, quiet service dressed in a gown finer than anything she had worn before, and then lying in bed at Nathaniel’s side for the first time, listening to his snores and filled with relief that she had escaped what so many of her friends and family had not.

The ring was meant to be a promise, one of care and love. Harriet had no delusions that her marriage with Nathaniel had been anything other than one of convenience, but she couldn’t help remembering the way he had held his children for the first time, the image of tender pride and affection, or the way he would sometimes, when it was just the pair of them alone in the evening, reach over and take her hand. How had this man, whom Harriet trusted if not loved, betrayed his family so completely?

‘I didn’t realise I still wore it,’ she murmured dazedly.

‘I know a pawner that’d give you a decent amount for it,’ Nell offered.

‘No!’ Harriet protested. Then, ‘No,’ more softly. ‘I’m not ready yet.’

Nell stared at her. Her eyes were uncomfortably searching, and Harriet practically squirmed until the scrutiny. After a moment, Nell turned away again. ‘Well, whatever suits you.’

* * *

Harriet had quickly learnt, while married to Nathaniel, what the true role of a wife was once she had served her time in the marriage bed and borne at least one healthy child. Nathaniel’s attraction to her quickly ran out, and Harriet turned a blind eye to his mistresses, careful not to make herself a nuisance. 

Still, if a wife wasn’t meant to be the object of her husband’s desire, she must still be devoted to his comfort, attentive to all his needs. Harriet was keenly aware that, so long as she was of use to Nathaniel, her place by his side was secured. She never complained about his neglect, kept their home comfortable and the servants in order. She made herself useful in small ways, such as always making Nathaniel’s tea for him, claiming that she alone could make it exactly as he liked.

Nathaniel always smiled when she said this, and would say something along the lines of ‘You’re a good girl, Harriet.’

It was happiness, of a sort. The role of a mother, at least, was one that Harriet enjoyed. There were moments, though, where the harmony of Harriet’s life was disrupted. Once, she found Nathaniel bouncing their children on his knees. Her breath caught, and she remembered her parents, who had died working Nathaniel’s cotton plantations. True horror seized her at the image of her children giggling in the arms of their father, her parents’ murderer.

But, as Harriet had been taught to do, she quashed down the grief, and went to take her children.

* * *

William North was on Harriet’s mind again. Her heart ached for his pain at losing his partner, even though Margaret had been no friend to her. There was also a pang of longing in her heart, for what she knew William would never feel towards her. To distract herself, she turned to Nell. ‘Have you ever been in love Nell?’ 

Nell looked up from where she was whittling a wooden horse for Harriet’s son. She settled back into her chair, the strokes of her knife on the wood slowing pensively. ‘I was. I guess I still am.’ She nodded at the ring on Harriet’s finger. ‘He married me, and we were happy. But we were poor, and I was with child, so he found work as a sailor, and was lost to me on his first voyage.’ Nell’s expression didn’t change, but her eyes seemed to dull. ‘And then the babe was lost soon after. I sold the ring though. It was all I had left of value.’

‘I’m so sorry Nell.’ The words felt inadequate and wrong, and Harriet’s throat tightened. She had never known that Nell was a wife and mother as well. She had suffered the worst kind of sorrow Harriet could imagine, and yet she was still sat there, strong and defiant, making wooden toys for the child of another woman when her own had been denied to her.

‘Don’t be. I leave it in the past. That’s the only way to survive, isn’t it?’

* * *

Harriet decided to sell the ring one week, when culls were scarce and Noah’s boxing was slow. She and Nell walked to the pawner together, and were horrified to discover that the ring was brass, not gold.

‘Dirty miser!’ Nell spat on the side of the road, uttering all the curses that Harriet felt too calm to say. She didn’t even feel that surprised. Everything Nathaniel had once promised for her, safety and security for herself and their children, had been false as well. What was one more token of his disregard for her?

Strangely, a smile started to spread itself on Harriet’s face. She gave Nell’s shoulder a little rub. ‘Don’t be upset for me. It’s no secret that he was a careless bastard.’

‘How can you be so calm?’ Nell linked her arm through Harriet’s, giving her a squeeze. ‘Let’s hope Noah had better luck than us today.’

Arm in arm, they made their way home. Harriet felt unburdened at last, freed from Nathaniel’s shackles. Behind them, Harriet dropped the brass ring, leaving it to be trod into the mud.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I've tried to be as sensitive as possible with the topics raised here, but if anyone is unhappy with the way I wrote about them please let me know so I can improve in the future :)


End file.
